Today we hear of the menace of car snatchers, mobile phone snatchers and bag snatchers. But, nothing is more intriguing and damaging than wife snatchers.

He leaves in his trail wounds that hardly heal and put his victim, her family and even the society at risk.

Schemes of a wife snatcher

A wife snatcher is a trickster. He gets to know the emotional needs of the woman. He emphasises it, knowing problems quite easily get enlarged in a woman's mind. He gets her to believe she is in a prison and that he has the ability to get her into paradise. His words have a powerful effect on the woman. He pours more "comforting" words on her - you are my soul mate. Life will be much better if you are with me because I can meet all your needs etc.

He gives her everything one can think of - "high time", money, mobile phone, dresses, and a plane ticket to 'chill' abroad. He doesn't care if he has to borrow or even steal to meet all her needs. He keeps his pressure on her.

After the separation

The initial days will look fantastic with good times and everything in abundance. Soon the resources start to wane. You don’t find him when you need him most. Maybe he is going through the cycle with another woman. You have to struggle with your kids and other responsibilities. He goes back on everything he promised. He wanted you and got you. Mission completed. What happens to her after is not part of his scheme. After his win, he has no motivation to hold on to you. You were only a means to boost his image.

The woman starts facing the realities in the relationship; she hears public comments about her and starts feeling guilty. Studies show all wives snatched go through pain, despair, betrayal and depression. No matter how well the man treats her, the scar will show.

Chances are sooner than later he gives her the death blow. In fact, only one in hundred wives snatched finds their feet. The rest find their dreams smashed by the trickery of a greedy man. This is not surprising. You can never have a good relationship built on deceit and flattery.

Avoid the trickster

Prevention is better than cure. Never give anyone a foothold in your marriage. Keep your guard high with a positive mental attitude of your marriage. Be content with your marriage and never have the myth that the problems or deficiencies in your marriage show your marriage is not working. Your marriage can be happy as you think of it and want it to be.

Love your man. Be his cheer leader and hero to bring the best out of him. He can get to where you want him to go if you become the great woman behind him. If you make your man your king and most precious possession, you can't settle for less.

It is advisable not to associate with the opposite sex and tell them your problems. Men by nature love to help women. A harmless activity could get you talking about your marital problems. You may give a trickster ammunition to strike as you reveal your emotional needs.

All marriages have their moments of frustration and needs but they come and go. They don't make your relationship any worse than others. Only you can build or destroy your relationship. Avoid the trickster because he has nothing good to offer you.

Credit: The Mirror/John Boakye [Email: jydboakye@yahoo.com